Dork Attack!

Its been a long time. First and foremost, let me apologize to Lai Siu Sing for plagiarizing the graph in the entry below. It was his unique graph drawn by him and I apologize. I would also like to state that he is a greater creative genius than I and perhaps this incident has illustrated a growing dependence and the fact that I’ve taken him for granted.

For that, I apologize.

Hmm. I haven’t updated in like 2 weeks or so and yet there have been no substantial drops in my hits. I thank all of you for your support and show of worship for my greatness. Yup. Moi shall now blog about moi’s great life.

Ok. Ok. Put your pitchforks and clubs away. I stop now.

Firstly, I have great news! I got a new bio co-teacher!!!! Ms foo has been replaced halfway replaced by MS Wang!!! Woot. Finally. A teacher I can relate to. She speeds through tutorial, gives me a fast and thorough insight into each chapter and basically makes me think lightning fast. Oh, and she doesn’t make me want to roll up and die when she teaches. And I’m not saying Ms Foo’s lesson is like that. Its just that Ms Wang’s lesson is fast. Oh, and what do I mean by co-teach? When Ms wang teaches, Ms Foo is behind staring at Ms Wang teaching.

Oh, and when Ms Foo is teaching, Ms Wang is answering and clearing any doubts we have while Ms Foo is teaching. And when Ms Foo goes too slowly, Ms Wang will take over.

Oh, oh. Did I mention that all of Ms foo’s classes have been taken over by other teachers?

Oh! And did I fail to mention that her 3 classes are damn happy about something? Yup.

Poetic justice. Hah.

Anyway, Mr cheng rocks. Aside form the fact that he hugs me after chem. prac, and he called me his lost lover, he’s alright. Ms hartini rocks too. Fierce woman. I’m stating to actually do my work. She’s like a Ms Wang.

Oh, and some smart person switched off the café freezer, costing Perkafe a substantial amount of money. And guess who had to clean up the mess? Yes. The boss and vice-boss. Along with Jasmine and Edwin. Poor souls.

I swear man. Smart.

Ok. Let the ranting begin:

Biz club elections coming up. Teachers handed it fully to me. And by fully I mean fully. No template nothing. I had to draft everything myself. Current ex-co didn’t help either. Asked them to put their roles down on paper and not be skimpy, well they gave 3 lines each. Great help.

Oooooo. And my pic is going to be on huge posters and 1500 brochures going to be given out soon. BUT the bloody smart J1s chose the worst pic of me. Damn them.

Oh. On wed, I told the J1s to give me the nomination forms on Friday sharp by 12.30 pm. in my class. Then a few minutes later I realized that it was better for them to put the nomination forms in the pigeon hole of Mrs Tan. So Friday, when I was on my way out, this girl came up to me and asked me why I was going out. How were people going to give me the form when I was leaving the class?

So I told her that I already said to put it in the pigeon hole. And her reply was “ Don’t talk crap.” She went on to say to the other 3 people with her, “he always talks crap.”

BIG MISTAKE.

BIG.

And the irony is that she’s running for boss. SMART. Maybe she switched off the freezer. But hey, I smiled back and just acted friendly. Why confront her then when I can ask her whether I was truly talking crap in front of 80 pairs of ears during next week’s rallying in LT2? She’s going to die. I have her nomination form. She’s going to get 3 killer questions. Wait till wed ok to find out. To see the action, come down to LT2 around 4.30. or RSVP the place with me.

No junior running for office calls me CRAP in front of other juniors and gets away with it.

Aiyoh. Tired. Typed so much. Actually its not a lot. Its just that its super hot right now. Tenses, grammar all wrong.

Anyway, the IPO went damn well. It was a huge buyout by the large market movers and the stock rose exponentially. The future of my new industry should work out fine. Ah crap. Got to drop this bloody euphemism already. Its getting old.

Anyway, I’ll blog more tmw. Feel too bitchy now. Relax my little readers, there’s more to blog about the past 2 weeks. Tmw.

The Diversification of Services

Whoa. Lots of things have happened over this long weekend. First and foremost, my internet connection is down again. Singnet can only send a person down to check the signal strength only on this coming Saturday. I really see why Starhub is gaining more clients man. After-sales service reliability. Kudos to Starhub! I typed this entry Sunday night, saved it to my thumb and uploaded it today. So backdate your thoughts a little. Thank you.

The fallout from my abysmal block test results has more far reaching consequences than I could have ever foreseen. My parents, Mrs Chong, Mrs Ng all look at me with that “ I know you’re not going to make it” stare. Please, my track record, no doubt not spectacular, will go to show that I’ll pull through. Enough said about this depressing area of my miserable, restricted life.

Oh….. I got a call from dear Pamela tonight. She wanted to know whether there will be maths lecture tomorrow. Well there is. But that’s not the point. She said I have a nice voice over the phone. Makes her think of someone else. Hmm. I wonder who. That’s not the point either. The point is, people, if I sound nice over the phone, imagine how nice I’ll be in other areas of your life. Hmm. I’ll stop here to keep y’all guessing what I mean by that. :p

Lost is getting more and more gripping. Ooooo. I just love the drama. Too bad Alias is not showing. But ever since I got hooked to lost Alias seems less action-y. there is however, Jennifer Garner.

As for JaneBank Pte Ltd, to further improve services to different segments of our clients and different market needs, the management has opened 3 new banking catergories to help cater to your special needs.

They are:

The Arab Investor
This group of clients are those with enough assets to invest and diversify in many different stocks. Though some may or may not give returns, the returns for those that do give them are high. Risk-takers are numerous among this demographic but returns may be higher. Clients include Tra*** Holdings Limited.

The SME Family Man
Always the charmer, the SME Family man always has his company’s interests in heart. Wanting to protect his assets and reduce liability, these clients are prudent investors, cautious, but taking risks at the right time. Clients include *sh and Co.

The Old Money
Simply termed as the Old Fart, because of their smell due to a failed takeover of Gatsby and Mandom Corp., the old money are overly-cautious individuals who do not want to lose the wealth that they have. Unlike the two demographics above, the old money do not get high returns at all and instead choose to park their money in ultra-low interest, safe, fixed deposits. Clients include the G***** Hong **** Corp.

Please do patronize JaneBank and do continue to provide continued feedback so that we can provide continued service.

As for stocks, I would like to report steady growth, overall. However, certain new companies are on the up rise. One now questions whether blue-chip investors like myself will see a closing of the gap between my blue-chip tocks and normal more volatile stocks. Don’t ask me what the latter is called, I am no banker for HSBC.

Oh, one last thing. I am going to be a psychic when I grow up. I’ll prove it to you now. I know which political party is going to win the coming general elections. The party with the white background, blue circle and lightning bolt. Yup. You know which one.

Oh and DoNoVan, once you tell me which category you fall under, JaneBank will definitely help you get your JaneFinance affairs in place, that if the management of JaneBank allows your admission into our exclusive banking society.


As for today, everything went well. Yup.

The Blue is off, now where can i find the yellow?

Well, like I said previously, I’ll meet you all again when I regain some intelligence that I’ve been losing continuously for the past year or so. Guess what? I’ve regained some. WOOT! I could do some stupid long stats question. Yup.

Anyway, I got band 1 for PW. Yeah man. Lots of people got band 1 also. People I think who deserve it in their own unique ways. Well except for one. As for my group mates, I think haiqal didn’t deserve getting band 2, I mean, the project was his idea, and though he went AWOL for a period, he did chiong the last part for me even though he wasn’t going to stay in MJ. Presentation wise he did well, though he didn’t answer the questions to the point, because he wanted to make me look even better. Thanks for the help dude! As for my other group mates, who got 2s each, well, let’s just say that the education system is fair in this case. Haha. But really man. Close call man. If it wasn’t for haiqal picking up their slack, I would’ve been done for. So kudos to haiqal.

Anyway, as for my contingency plan to prep myself for the mid years, let’s just say that the process of stripping off the blue is still undergoing and I still need my source of yellow.

And as for the bank, everything is rather quiet among my different clientele, probably because everyone’s just busy.

As for the stock market, everything is stable, this is probably a point of inflexion. Whether it will continue rising in value remains to be seen. Let’s just hope growth can be sustained. Overall. I mean, stocks are supposed to follow a sinusoidal curve, so if you go up or down too much and deviate from the curve too much, the market will eventually crash. Right now, its probably like the pic below. Let’s just hope I can sell off my stocks before a bust.



And as for Zultopia, we have just built a new superhighway and are currently in the midst of opening 3 new international airports. We’re also cracking down on corruption within the government.

Oh and can someone tell me how I can put videos on download here? I want to put my vids here. Daryl or Vishnu, I can’t remember who, was suggesting we put the video on U-tube. Then we can become famous. Huh. Let’s just try it here first.

Strip off the blue and don the yellow

Whoa. Something’s wrong with me man. Can you imagine I got last in class? For bio. It was some stupid compilation of marks thing for the 2 recent class tests and I got last in class. God. I think I;m last in the whole damned level.

Crap man. In VS I could sleep and slack the whole day and still NOT get last in class for ANYTHING. I copied more than I am copying now, played more then than now, slept more then and hardly now and I NEVER got last for anything. I thought I was smart enough to not study and do relatively ok. Well, I thought wrong.

Must change. You can tell when I’m ready to study. If you look at my file now, you won’t be able to see separate pieces of paper, you’ll just see a whole stack. Heck, there isn’t even a file. But when you see me toting a well-organized file, you better jolly well watch out. Cos that means I actually give a damn bout studies and my file reflects my conviction to do well. Right now, I think it’ll start to look better. But I cannot continue like this man. I’m sure I’ve stored enough VS magic in my pockets long enough. I should be able to draw on some of it now, considering that I;ve not used it in one and a half years. Hmm.

Must shed that blue Meridian spirit and start wearing yellow and black. Yup. Actually, I’ve turned into a bad meridian. People like Gatsby are doing so well, S papers and all. And to think we entered at the same level. So it should be of no excuse for me to not do as well if not better considering other circumstances. Damn. Got to stop disturbing bloody construction workers and start giving a damn bout my life.

On a lighter note, wait, there isn’t a lighter note. Maybe its because I’m stupid. That’s why I think there’s a lighter note. Huh. Till next time, when I regain a bit of my intelligence that has been slowly seeping away.

and for that to happen, my file needs to be sorted out. I'm sure Daryl, Sarah and Joanne can attest to that.

Zul, evil reincarnate.

whoa!!!!

i was super damn bloody evil today ah. there were 3 people working, hacking the ground and installing a new lampost or something in school. they tapped power for the jackhammer form one of the plugs behind the canteen. i think i was high after 2.4 cos i sprayed too much Salonpas onto my leg. so walking back form the water cooler, i switched the plug off, the jackhammer went silent and i ran off laughing like a lunatic through the canteen. now, that was funny.

it definitely is classified as an ammonia adventure, cos i think i urban spice wore off after PE.

anyway, mr cheng is damn nice ah. damn sociable. my lost lover. his words. not mine.

the j1s are damn nice also.

finished the bloody registration. woot.

Ammonia Adventures

The adventures of AMMONIA MAN, Yue Han. He just changed his blog name to AMMONIA ADVENTURES. Take a look. I’ve linked him. Funny guy. Known him for 4 years. 4 solid years o NCC. Sweat, blood and torture, not nesccearily in that order.

All of this brings back a flood of memories being a 2SGT in Vs Ncc Land. The horrible atrocities and violations committed upon me till the day I was bestowed the 2SGT rank. And even then, I wasn’t high ranking enough to repay the kindness shown to me in those 3 years of servitude. But hey, the experiences were priceless. And at least I know a whiff of what’s coming up next. And the next 2 years of my life ain;t looking very bright.

Depressed now.

But hey. That’s life.

Haven’t studied for SPA or the coming test. I am so dead. First the A levels will kill me. Then the 2 year bond that I have to pay back in return for being a Singaporean. Whoa. Then the server to register for the med check up is damn slow and keeps crashing me. Crap.

I suck at Warcraft by the way. Can’t play DOTA. Cant install it. Ah. Too depressed to actually say anything much now. Bye.

This is your bank calling, we need to tell you about our new fixed deposits...

DoNoVan was asking me what is JaneBank. I’m sure that you all are probably wondering the same thing.. well, to put it simply, this contact of mine is now unavailable to manage his financial affairs and has now entrusted me to manage his assets, bonds and clients. Not bad uh? The pay sucks. But the exposure is good. I want to start my own equities form one day. Just like my dear old friend.

Whether you want to believe the explanation above is up to you. :)

Anyway, I think the week has been good. The J1s are damn enthusiastic lah. Tmw there’s a meeting on the co-op membership drive. Now that I’m back in full control, I bet I can steer this cruise ship perfectly, especially with such a good crew, not the bunch of slackers that I used to have.

Oh, and this morning, I was in a damn foul mood. Class didn’t want to pay bloody class fund. And to any of you defaulters, I will strike your names off the list and you’re no more my problem.

I became ok later on in the day, cos capital came up and I asked why she screamed at me, and she just laughed and laughed. Damn cute. She didn’t know why she screamed at me. Haha. Weirdo.

SUBLIME!!!!!!!!!

Then right, the stocks rose a few percentage points this week, nothing significant though. But its still good to report on. Please ah, if you know you're a market force, please help out the market and stablise it. Its better that way as some investors have cold feet.

Been playing X box to de-stress. Find stats doable. NMR is alright. If I actually study ah, I think I can pull off another VS miracle.

Oh, and I finally got the MAJID video. Yeah man. GO FISH!!!!!!!

Oh, here’s a pic of the DOUBLE whopper I ate. Cool right. And me and my niece. Damn cute. She’s going to grow up and probably woo some rich tycoon and live happily ever after. Let’s just hope that tycoon isn’t me…. Ok.. enough sick stuff.

Listening to some old jazz form vishnu's cd. cool man. going to watch lost too. vishnu rocks man.

Oh, and daryl, tianwen and me somehow broke the whole metal railing at the hall. talk about the unstable school structure man. just a little force and bang. if it had hit someone ah... anyway, after that, abraham and us made a little video. Damned funny..

Yup. better study for SPA. Toodles.

Republic of Fun and high morale

Whoa. Another long time ah. Lotsa of things have happened. Firstly, the merger and acquisitions would like to report that the department is doing alright with a steady projected growth forecast for the immediate future. Kudos to the bank.

Anyway, on Saturday, my sister gave birth. Yes on April’s fool. But hey. Its ok. Her name is Yasmin something something. Of course, thank you. Yup. I’m a good uncle. I think I have 4 more nepwhews and nieces. I think. Haha. Uncle Zul is definitely a good uncle. Right Joanne?

Then on Sunday, I finally showed my math tutor the horrible mess of a maths paper that I did for the block test. Don’t ask me for my grades, for I know that you’re just doing it for a good laugh.

Hahahahahaha. Damn it man. I ain’t no stupid fool. But why I am scoring so badly? Cos I am a lazy fool. A handsome one that is.

Ahem!

Anyway, Vishnu rocks man. He just loaned me lost season 2 episodes 1-12. now I can watch it at any time I want. Yeah.

Anyway, thanks to all who have so ardently supported my new tag. Great friends you people are.

Well, I got to go prepare my opening speech for the J1s tomorrow, so got to get cracking. Had fun taking inconspicuous locations for the treasure hunt. Haha. I doubt they can finish in time.

Now they will truly have FUN.

I love fun. HAHA!