The Tipping Point: Rise of the Lipids
Wah. I didnt know that I could be such a violent person. What I did was so not me. It was so primal. I think I may be turning from fat boy to fat man. Hoho.
There's this ACJC failure in my office. He acts gay 24/7. Smacks everyone's ass, hugs and puts his dandruff laden head on you. Now that's not so bad right? Try having him around 5 days a week, for 5 months. Good god. Everyone is about to snap. We used to reason with him, but now we have to resort to physical means like simply pushing him away.
But yesterday, he pissed me off to the max. I just woke up from my lunch nap, and had a deadline to meet. He was putting his disgusting head on my shoulder and hugging me, and caressing my butt. I pushed him away, but after doing so for like 5 times, I said sternly, "Fuck off, or I'll smack your face you moronic piece of shit."
A normal human would have just stopped fooling around and realise that ppl needed to get some work done. But he's an idiot. So when he started grabbing my face, and in doing so, bending my specs which cost more than his life, I snapped.
Literally. I grabbed him by his collar, threw him on my desk, and pinned him against the cubicle wall. "Idiot! Even a dog knows when to fuck off. You a person or dog?" He looked at me, with the stubborness of a 3 year old child. I threw him across the table, and he slid off the table and fell onto the floor.
Woohoo. Funny as hell. I could have gotten a few days detention if anyone saw that. Thank god no one did.
BUT!
An hour later, he came back, again, head on my shoulder, but this time, he was massaging my neck. He then squeezed my artery. Whoa. That was the tipping point.
He was behind me, while i was sitting on my chair. So i elbowed his chest and got up. I twisted his arm, the way teck teng showed me how the police do it, and i started to crush his right wrist. By now he was helpless.
Heh.
"ok.OK. I stop. Stop crushing me."
So i let go off him and he continued doing my work. For 20 mins, he was standing behind me, staring at me. My civilian officer said maybe I caused him to become insane. Haha. He said I was too harsh.
But when someone says stop fooling around so many times and you don't stop, the person will snap. And I snapped. And I didn't see any of the civilian officers stop the fight. All the adjacent cubicles were occupied by them, and they kept quiet. Obviously, someone needed to smack him, but no one wanted to touch him, probably cos of his dandruff.
Anyways, I was thinking, as I always do, on how to cover my ass, just in case I get accused of bullying. First thing this morning, I told my officer the whole thing, including me pinning him down. I reiterated the fact that I reasoned with him first, and that I am not a physical person. I also told him that I do not want to be seen as an antagonist. I was antagonised instead.
And I told him the rest of the story, no spinning, no bullshiting. The whole truth, because I notice he has a knack for finding out the truth.
And it got sorted out in role call today that took like half an hour of my lunch.
Now that idiot touches me with a pen or pencil, and talks to me nicely.
Cool. I've learnt one thing today. That is reasoning with a moron alone doesn't work. You must smack it into him. But of course, ensure that any action taken is retaliatory, not pre-emptive. So you're never in the wrong.
I hope this story inspires all other people who get irritated till they can't take it. Smack at the right time, make sure its a validated smacking and be irritant free for the rest of your NS life.
** Note, I'm not exaggerating any of the throwing around parts. He's a small thin gay guy, who despite weighing lighter than a sack of rice, can't do a pull up. So even my pri 5 student can throw him around. (So ya la. I'm not that macho.) (And yes, my student would rather throw me around.)
Hoho. I never change.
There's this ACJC failure in my office. He acts gay 24/7. Smacks everyone's ass, hugs and puts his dandruff laden head on you. Now that's not so bad right? Try having him around 5 days a week, for 5 months. Good god. Everyone is about to snap. We used to reason with him, but now we have to resort to physical means like simply pushing him away.
But yesterday, he pissed me off to the max. I just woke up from my lunch nap, and had a deadline to meet. He was putting his disgusting head on my shoulder and hugging me, and caressing my butt. I pushed him away, but after doing so for like 5 times, I said sternly, "Fuck off, or I'll smack your face you moronic piece of shit."
A normal human would have just stopped fooling around and realise that ppl needed to get some work done. But he's an idiot. So when he started grabbing my face, and in doing so, bending my specs which cost more than his life, I snapped.
Literally. I grabbed him by his collar, threw him on my desk, and pinned him against the cubicle wall. "Idiot! Even a dog knows when to fuck off. You a person or dog?" He looked at me, with the stubborness of a 3 year old child. I threw him across the table, and he slid off the table and fell onto the floor.
Woohoo. Funny as hell. I could have gotten a few days detention if anyone saw that. Thank god no one did.
BUT!
An hour later, he came back, again, head on my shoulder, but this time, he was massaging my neck. He then squeezed my artery. Whoa. That was the tipping point.
He was behind me, while i was sitting on my chair. So i elbowed his chest and got up. I twisted his arm, the way teck teng showed me how the police do it, and i started to crush his right wrist. By now he was helpless.
Heh.
"ok.OK. I stop. Stop crushing me."
So i let go off him and he continued doing my work. For 20 mins, he was standing behind me, staring at me. My civilian officer said maybe I caused him to become insane. Haha. He said I was too harsh.
But when someone says stop fooling around so many times and you don't stop, the person will snap. And I snapped. And I didn't see any of the civilian officers stop the fight. All the adjacent cubicles were occupied by them, and they kept quiet. Obviously, someone needed to smack him, but no one wanted to touch him, probably cos of his dandruff.
Anyways, I was thinking, as I always do, on how to cover my ass, just in case I get accused of bullying. First thing this morning, I told my officer the whole thing, including me pinning him down. I reiterated the fact that I reasoned with him first, and that I am not a physical person. I also told him that I do not want to be seen as an antagonist. I was antagonised instead.
And I told him the rest of the story, no spinning, no bullshiting. The whole truth, because I notice he has a knack for finding out the truth.
And it got sorted out in role call today that took like half an hour of my lunch.
Now that idiot touches me with a pen or pencil, and talks to me nicely.
Cool. I've learnt one thing today. That is reasoning with a moron alone doesn't work. You must smack it into him. But of course, ensure that any action taken is retaliatory, not pre-emptive. So you're never in the wrong.
I hope this story inspires all other people who get irritated till they can't take it. Smack at the right time, make sure its a validated smacking and be irritant free for the rest of your NS life.
** Note, I'm not exaggerating any of the throwing around parts. He's a small thin gay guy, who despite weighing lighter than a sack of rice, can't do a pull up. So even my pri 5 student can throw him around. (So ya la. I'm not that macho.) (And yes, my student would rather throw me around.)
Hoho. I never change.
posted by adayinthelifeof at 7:59 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home